I
t seems that being single after a particular age is heavily frowned upon in most societies. Singlehood is often seen as a void that requires a filling, regardless of your other achievements. You may be thriving in your career, finally ticking places off your bucket list, and flourishing spiritually, but there’s always the lingering stigma of single shaming.
You probably wonder why everyone is still so focused on being in a relationship because you’re having a great time, albeit single. Well, you’re right. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being single, even as a woman above 30. But somewhere along the way, the world thinks there’s something wrong with being single. And therein lies the true shame.
What is single shaming?
Single shaming is the negative attitude towards a single person. It can be done on a personal or societal level, and often takes the form of jokes or derogatory comments. It’s a wonder why this is even an issue in our time — a time where we pride ourselves as liberal.
Reasons why single shaming persists today…
There are many reasons why single shaming is still happening in 2023, but here are just a few:
#1. The fear of being alone
We live in a society that constantly tells us that we need to be in a relationship to be happy. This simply isn’t true, but it’s a message that many people buy into. And as you get older, the fear of navigating through life alone might push you to settle for less.
#2. The stigma attached to being single
There’s still a lot of shame and stigma attached to being single, which means people are reluctant to admit they’re not in a relationship. We’re at the point where people run “partner renting” services. To throw the unapproving stares and comments off your neck, you may choose to hire a man for the family holiday dinners–yes, it’s surprisingly a thing.
#3. The lack of support
Our society lags in supporting single people, which can make it difficult for the individuals concerned to feel good about themselves. It’s easier to square your shoulder and tighten your comeback game when you have a support system that pumps you up.
#4. Persisting myths about being single
There are many myths about being single, such as the idea that you’re automatically doomed to loneliness and misery, or that you’re missing out on all the fun. These myths can be damaging and harmful.
Impact of single shaming on individuals and society
Single shaming hurts both individuals and society. It tells people they are not whole unless they connect to a bigger calling—which in this case is a romantic relationship. This mentality pressures them to find someone to date, even if they are not ready. This is an awful stance that can lead to poor relationship decisions. This pressured resolve to partner up with someone can often have significant consequences.
On a larger scale, single shaming causes damaging gender stereotypes that contribute to inequality in relationships and discourage healthy communication between partners. It also discourages individual self-growth, encourages codependency, and discourages personal autonomy. All these factors can contribute to unhealthy relationships, which can lead to further isolation for the individual if the relationship fails.
Strategies to combat single shaming
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, it’s time to stop single-shaming people or even yourself. The first step begins with looking inwards. Do you often compare your relationship status with others? Do you berate yourself or others for being single? It’s important to acknowledge these thoughts and then challenge them. First, try giving yourself some compassion; everyone deserves it. Then, start to challenge any ideas you have about a specific timeline for relationships. Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach here.
How to support those who experience single shaming
You can lend an ear, a shoulder, and your support if you know someone who has experienced single shaming. It seems trivial but could lead to social anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses. Having a supportive friend may help a person feel heard, understood, and become cope with the experience.
Let people know it’s okay to be single at any stage of life, and that they don’t need to be in a relationship to find happiness or validation from others. If they insist on wanting a relationship—which is not a bad idea — motivate them to do it without the pressure. Encourage them to do things that bring them joy or make them feel liberated and empowered. Remind them that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being single and that it’s fine if they choose not to share their personal life with everyone who asks about it. We all need kindness in our lives, and sometimes being there for each other is all we can do when faced with a situation like this.
Blaming people for being single could be a sign of an underlying toxic mentality. Single people should be praised for their independence and strength, not criticized. There are many reasons why someone might be single, and it’s not always a choice. Being single is not a crime, and there’s no reason for shame.
Featured image: diego_cervo/iStock
For the latest in fashion, lifestyle and culture, follow us on Instagram @StyleRave_
This is a Style Rave original content exclusively created for our readers. If reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached, or otherwise used by any other publishing house or blogs, such use should provide a direct link to this source article. Use of and/or registration on any portion of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.
—Read also
