L
et me cut to the chase, ghosting in relationships shouldn’t even be a thing let alone one to normalize. We get you’re going through stuff and unable to process your emotions, but leaving people hanging without closure leaves a cruel taste of abandonment in their mouths. This often lasts for a long time — even while you waddle through life like nothing happened. Yes, I’ve been ghosted in the past (you can tell) and of course, it was an utterly confusing time of my life.
I’d be inconsiderate to expect a long and draining conversation from someone who doesn’t have the capacity, but a simple call or even a message explaining your reasons is still superior to ghosting. Breaking up over a text or call isn’t ideal either, but at least there’s some form of closure. Although this might sound like a rant, I’ll try to keep it together and be objective while asserting the dangers of ghosting in relationships. We get it, you want out and can’t deal, but let’s be more in touch with our emotional intelligence so as not to hurt people beyond repair (this doesn’t include extreme cases).
What is ghosting in relationships?
Ghosting refers to abruptly (and without explanation) cutting off all touch with someone. It can happen in various contexts, including friendships and romantic relationships. This often leaves the abandoned bewildered, pained, and without closure. In my opinion, ghosting is a weak person’s way out — no conversations or proper goodbyes.
Anyone who has experienced ghosting in relationships can tell you how it messes with the psych. Unless the case is inevitable, don’t do this to another human. On the other hand, if you’re in this situation, seek support and don’t feel the need to chart the unstable course alone. A therapist or loved ones can be instrumental in this season of emotional roller coaster.
Here are helpful tips for avoiding ghosting others…
Have sober reflections: Understand why you often choose the ghosting route rather than tackling the issue head-on. Knowing why you do what you do is a helpful start.
Develop compassion: The golden rule states: do unto others what you want to be done to you. When you are empathetic, it helps guide you to put yourself in the shoes of the other person.
Practice healthy communication: Avoidance might be a sign of an underlying mental issue or communication problem. If it’s the latter, choose to do something different. When the thought of ghosting comes to mind, opt for openness instead. If you’ve made up your mind to end a relationship or take a break, communicate your reasons respectfully.
Be firm: Clearly state your expectations and boundaries from the onset to sidestep misinterpretations.
Speak early: It’s better to communicate your stand early than waste both your time. Do it when you’re in a better headspace, rather than when you become overwhelmed.
Be straightforward: It’s bad enough you’re about to have an uneasy conversation, beating around the bush and elongating the talk won’t be helpful. Try being candid and considerate, but enough to communicate your exact thoughts.
Remember, we were not all born great communicators, but it can be honed. If you find it difficult, consider getting help from loved ones or an expert to help you communicate clearly.
Featured image: Paolo Cordoni/iStock
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